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miercuri, 25 noiembrie 2015


Weight: 136.8 kilograms

That is so niiice! Feel better now! Ha! So it is back to the future baby. Went back to my own drill and put myself back on track. And this is not just a physical quest. It is also a spiritual journey.

I am a perfectionist. That is not always a good thing. But when at the business school I have learned about a tool called "opportunity cost". Heavily used in marketing. It can be quantified. You can use math to calculate it. Basically it is about what you have to give up in order to achieve more. In this particular case? Lose the old habits!

I started realizing that one can solve many problems if cares less. I have to finally accept that the people don't necessarily pursue excellence but will take the average as a solution anytime instead. Take the easy way. I just did that. And I am not happy to admit that I broke my record of not going back on my word as a first step in order to achieve that less caring goal.

They say that the first kill is the most difficult and that it becomes easier with every new one. Hope this is not the case here. Keeping my word and promises is still a part of being a real man in this plastic, fake world that we are living in today. Even that is not easy...

You have to be prepared to face the consequences when you go back on your word... When you decide to do that, it is unlikely that anyone will care about the struggles and painful processes that involve going against all that you are, breaking yourself and lowering your standards...

People most likely will take such an action as a sign of weakness and may as well try to pull some more strings on you for many different reasons... Maybe to feel better, maybe to feel smarter, maybe to feel safer, maybe to feel that they are in control. Maybe all of those together or just one... Unless they opened themselves you will never know for sure. Whatever the reasons are you just have to accept and face it. Because you are not trustworthy anymore.

You will probably be able to see all of that clearly on their faces when they wink at each other while sharing an accomplice smile. Probably they think "Yesss! We won!". It will break you one more time putting an ice cold dagger in your heart. In that instant what is actually making them happy in a silly, foolish and - strangely enough - cute way will give way to sadness... It is the moment that you become almost certain that they planned together how to corner you once again... You will be left with only two choices: either to leave them be or to let them have what they want, sigh and say: "Whatever. God is in control"...

Amazingly, you will still love them because they are performing to the best of their abilities. So you have to forgive them. As they forgive you. And never forget: your God given gifts are only yours. Nobody can take that away from you no matter what. Make those around you respect the fact that you let them use you and never let them abuse you. Always be fair.

I wish I was like most of the people. Life would be so much more easier and more fun! But to me is really heartbreaking when I see we do not realize that by accepting the average hardly anything will be achieved. Even more: we only extend the process of getting where we want to be. I stand confused right now I'll admit to that. But thinking always got me closer to God.

I choose therefore to go rational... A final goal is more important than some words or the feeling of being in control that those around me are in need of. That is why I started thinking maybe it is better to care less about how people act and let them have their fun. Let them think that they have outsmarted me (I do that most of the time anyway). Look ahead for the final goal. Search for solutions even in those harsh conditions. Buy the time in anyway that you can for the mutual benefit. Try to be smarter in every situation... At least give it a shot even when you don't think it is possible!

Facts, acts and deeds. Achieving goals. Without compromise. Whenever is possible. Step by step. Slowly. Gradually. That is all that matters. Apart from that never forget that those gifts that one is equipped with, as in talent, skills, education, experience and determination, can't be taken away.

Therefore the owner carries them around wherever he chooses to be. To share the gifts is the owner's choice! And he or she can take them anywhere if from being used you are being abused. That is the best part ever. It is not necessarily anybody's fault if people choose, according to their standards, levels of tolerance and understanding, not to use one another in their full or reject them so no one should feel guilty...

Thinking about all this stuff made me think even more about the general human behaviour today... Like lowering our standards is never for the best. That is how the average became slowly a rule in our lives today. It is like a cancer spreading easily through society because excellence is so difficult to achieve. And to me, accepting the average is an expression of fear. Excellence can never be achieved by accepting the average. That is a fact. And we all have to accept that sometimes our best is simply not enough and you should choose another path.

Secondly, it is very wise to use the cost of opportunity and that it is a must to change the plan according to the unexpected changes, especially when those changes are not the best choice for you. Someone once told me that good is the enemy of the best and I agree with that. Why is it that when the going gets tough we always have the tendency to forget our beliefs then? We are very funny indeed. But that is what makes us human too I guess. And I am not talking about being funny part...

This whole labyrinth of thoughts has also brought to my mind the fact that the progress was always achieved through very few. The elites. Progress was never easy to accept for the majority because anything out of the ordinary it will take most of us out of the comfort zone.

Thing is that back in the days we were smart enough to appreciate the beautiful out of the ordinary minds an their out of the average ideas. It was exactly those ideas that brought us from the stone age to the achievements of today. Those minds were, are and will always be a gift from God. Whenever we disregard them we reject His gift.

I love people. I really do. Obviously to much... I care for the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve more than I should probably. I always forget that it is everyone for themselves after all because our relationship with God, existing or non-existing, is personal. Can't help it though: it seems to me that in today's world everything is upside down: you get more for giving less and you get less or nothing for giving more for one thing...  People pretend or believe that they are something they are not, and many times they do that without even knowing it... I myself am trying not to lose it... And am desperately trying to keep my sanity...

So... I am now on a new training. Will train myself to care a bit less for the human acts and look for God even more. From now on it will be more "whatever"s with the people while pursuing the final personal prize. And no. It is NOT a selfish thing to put my relationship with God first. He is my strength. God has never let me down and I am sure He never will. Humans, myself included, will always do that at some point. So if I let people down, even if I don't want to, why expect anything else in return?

One thing will be avoided though. No more soft spots in sight again. They might give way for others to sin. People will always take advantage of that and I am determined not to let that happen easily or without being careful. I was happy to let them use me for free in the past and that did not go so well. Not only for me but for those around me.

That is why I used the word abuse. It is time to close myself a bit. Just enough to prevent the posibility of being abused in any way. Will be always fair though. have to. Would not have it in any other way. Fair and tough. In a gentle way if you know what I mean. And I would expect the same in return. It will be another way of showing that I love them. See if it works this time. Will always keep trying to improve the way I interact with the people. I never quit... Time to turn yet another page...

Oh! And I will start saying "NO" more often. Not without reason or common sense of course. Sorry about that one but I realized that when you do that a "YES" brings so much happiness around while acting viceversa brings so much pain... So stay cool and healthy! God bless!

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