DIARY COUNTDOWN: DAY 250

Weight:   139.2 kilograms

Must be the "El Cordero" effect as I had lunch there yesterday... Got nothing much to say. Just letting God to take control over everything. It has been a difficult week. Yet another one in this second part of the year which was full of trials...

You know, when your are 46 of age you feel like you're tryouts are basically done but it is not like that when you are a Christian. So this is the lesson I have learned:

ALWAYS BE PREPARED FOR THE NEXT LEVEL COMES WITH A TEST.

This will always occur. And if I will relax and let my guard down the conflict between my feelings and my beliefs will most likely be causing hurricanes in my heart storming not only my life but affecting those around me too. So it is better not to put my feelings against my beliefs. I think there is another lesson maybe...

And guess what! People we have around we usually love. Or like at least. That is why we want to and let them be around us in the first place... So it has been a trial week. I know there will be more, but I also know that God never gives us more than we can carry...

One of the effects was most definitely the fact that I did not do my morning walks. I did not wanna get out of bed after a sleepless night just to spend the next fifty minutes thinking which is what I usually do... Felt like if I wrap myself in the blanket again everything will be just fine... And for a minute it felt like it... Did not solve the problem but helped me relax a bit...

People tell me I think to much. Not to boast but I believe I think to fast... It never stops and because of that sometimes I am getting tired... I wish I could relax at some point... But at the same time this is who I am... Love me. Hate me. Or even worse: ignore me.

In any case scenario I am determined to end up being what God wants me to be... And I will follow Him no matter what... As far as I can tell I can't trust myself so apart from Jesus, who died for me while forgiving me, saving me, asking nothing in return... And it is because of that there is no assurance that I won't hurt and won't get hurt by people I guess... I know. I've been told already. i think to much...

So stay blessed everyone! And have a beautiful day! I will make the best of it! Ciao for now!